A Trip to the Gym

No, really. Anyone reading this who knows me will think the title of this entry is a fabrication but it's true. Albeit sporadic.

The gym is superb - best I've ever been to in terms of the things that matter to me, that is it has a huge number of cardio machines, doesn't stink of sweat and it's not boiling hot because the air conditioning works and is switched on.

It does have one disconcerting feature, which is the large number of male customers who, despite signs warning that Hairdriers are for Drying Hair, insist on standing in front of the big mirrors in the changing room with one foot up on a stool, hairdrier in hand and... blow drying their gonads. It certainly makes one grateful to have short hair that dries quickly as those hairdriers have been in many a crack and I, for one, will never touch them.

So, this trip was the first time that I've driven to the gym and I don't think I was really ready for the tyranny of the parking police. As you arrive outside these white-gloved fellas stand to attention and use still, slightly bizarre arm movements to make it clear that you should drive in the direction that you're already driving.

Parking outside was not possible because all the spaces were full so I went into their underground car park and, more of less straight into a space. This prompted a security guy to come hurtling towards us from the far end of the car park and, oddly, he bypassed me on the driver side of the car and went straight to PL who'd just got out of the passenger side. The guy was fairly animated and we started off with a 'I can't understand you defence' but when he starting drawing in the air his meaning was fairly clear. He wanted me to turn the car round.

I looked down the line of cars and most, but not all, had been reverse parked. Unfortunately I appreciate I am in a minority here as most people seem to reverse park all the time. I'm not a huge fan of reverse parking - even more so here because security guards like to help you by standing somewhere where you can't see them and shouting 'dao' (reverse at you) while you hope you're not running them over. He explained that he was very sorry but could he trouble me to turn the car round. I asked why but he didn't answer. I then asked if he just wanted me to turn my car round because it would look better that way and he confirmed that this is why. In an underground car park. I did huffily oblige because the guy is obviously just following orders but I still don't understand the orders.